Breathe Evenly
by h1421286
Summary: As we are waiting impatiently for the sequel to come out next year, I started a sequel of my own hoping to make the time go faster. Story is mainly from Marc's POV as the movie. Warning: may contain adult content. Nothing explicit. Later chapters may contain mentions of rape/noncon. Angst in between, but happy ending guaranteed. Hope you enjoy and please leave comments :).
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

This just shows, it's impossible to plan life, nor love.

Marc Borgmman was never one for taking chances. Being the only child of a traditional German family in the small town of Ludwigsburg, he has always followed the path that his parents set for him. He decided to become a police officer partly because of the well structured career it entails. Police academy, candidate, constable, master, maybe even inspector or councilor one day. After all, his father was a served the police force until the day he retired, what other choice does he have?

Pregnancy with Bettina, however, was not planned. Not to say it was not welcomed. Marc knew he would become a father one day, but he's not ready. Despite being 28 years old, despite being with Bettina for 5 years, Marc feels he is still not ready for the responsibility of a husband and father. That is why he still hasn't proposed to Bettina even with all the hints his parents and Bettina have been throwing at him. It's hunch Marc cannot describe himself. There is something missing, he feels he is not complete.

Moving himself and Bettina to be close to his parents, Frank and Claudia in preparation of the upcoming child was not Marc's favorite idea, but he felt it was the right thing to do. It would definitely make his and Bettina's lives' easier, though he felt so suffocated that he can hardly breath. No wonder he almost failed jogging at the police academy. How could you run when you couldn't even take a breath, let alone breathe evenly like Kay always told him.

Acquaintance with Kay Engel was definitely not according to Marc's life plans. With dirty blond hair, clear blue eyes and that cocky smile that never left his lips, he was like an angel and devil in one. He showed Marc a wild side that Marc never knew existed. Smoking pot, breaking in the pool after hours, clubbing, Ecstasy, sex in the bathroom stall, Marc never thought he would be the one doing any of those. Sex with Kay was a whole new experience all together. The sensual pleasure that Marc never felt with Bettina, or any other women for that matter. That first time in the rain, Marc felt as if 28 years worth of bottled up pressure was released at once. No wonder Kay was walking with a limp for 3 days after that.

The secrecy of forbidden relationship was fun and exciting. Kay's apartment and their running trail in the woods became Marc's sanctorum, an escape from the suffocating life at home. Only with Kay Marc could be careless and free, be himself without thinking about everyone's expectations. After all, Kay had no expectations for him, or did he?

Marc knew things were getting serious when he felt a pang of jealousy as he learnt Kay was going to the gay clubs without him. You don't feel jealousy if it was just casual sex. That night Kay told Marc that he loved him, Marc knew he was in trouble. Because even though he didn't realize it then, Marc fell just as hard for Kay. He felts that his 2 incompatible worlds are colliding together, and things are getting out of control. Marc was never good at handling things under pressure, in the end, he did what he always had done, escape to his comfort zone.

Boy was that the wrong choice. Nothing had been right after that. His relationship with Bettina, like broken glass, cannot be rekindle not matter how hard he tried to glue the pieces back together. He thought he loved Bettina, and in a way, he did. Only after he had Kay and lost Kay did Marc learn that was not real love. It's more like a care you feel for family or good friend. Real love was the brink of ecstasy when you are together, and the heart wrenching emptiness when you are apart. The emptiness that Marc felt every single moment after Kay has left almost a year ago.

Is he gay? Marc didn't know how to answer when Bettina asked him. He didn't think so. Because he never felt attracted to another man other than Kay. Is he bisexual? Maybe. To Marc though, sexuality was beside the point. He loved and wanted Kay, only Kay, as a person. If Kay was a woman, Marc would have fell in love just the same. It's just Kay was a man.

So he loves Kay. Marc realizes that now, loud and clear. Since the day Marc broke the door and gone into Kay's empty apartment, his world had ended. He had let his life gone into free fall. After all, he fell in love before he knew what love was. When something blinds you like that, it's hard to see anything clearly. He traced the trail that he and Kay used to run, he gone to the same club he and he used to go. He had even tried Ecstasy himself and tried to pick up other guys. It was never the same. Nothing, no one could fill the void that Kay had left. When he finally grew out of his cowardice and became a man that is ready to love Kay the way he deserved, the Kay that loved him was no-where to be found.

Bettina, being the level-headed girl she is, has left Marc for her own benefit. She was able to make a life for herself and their son Sebastian. In a year's time, she also met a man that treats her right. Marc was sincerely happy for her, even though he missed his son miserably. His parents, Marc hadn't really talked with them for a year. He had sold his house he lived with Bettina, and moved into Kay's old studio apartment. Which, as Marc cursed, was the worst idea possible.

Interestingly, the 2 people that helped him to gain some normalcy in his life as Frank and Britt from the same unit. Frank is a true friend. He did not approve Marc's lifestyle or choices, but he accepted Marc for who he is. Britt showed surprising understanding for Marc's situation, as she was coming in terms with her own sexuality. Of course, what else helped was Bettina's threat to refuse letting Marc see Sebastian if he didn't get his life back on track.

So he did, for his son's sake, and for himself. He has been clean from drugs for 4 months, and only drink on social occasions. He still smoked like a chimney. Oh well, something cannot be helped.

This nice summer day when Marc and Britt are having a drink after their shifts ended. Britt suddenly asked Marc a question he didn't know how to answer.

"So Marc, why haven't you thought about finding Kay?"

Marc startled and almost choked on his beer. He stared at Britt's large eyes, "why would he want to see me?"

Britt shrugged her shoulders, "well, you are clearly still hang up about the guy. I don't see why you won't just take a chance and go find him. Who knows, maybe he is still hang up about you."

That thought made Marc's heart skip a beat. God did he wish that was true. But after what he had put Kay through, he highly doubt God would be so kind.

Marc shook his head," he would never forgive me. I put him through hell."

"Yes you did." Britt said with a bit of disgust. "But it doesn't hurt to ask. Marc, you do realize this step is completely up to you. You will never see Kay again unless you reach out to him. You made it pretty clear to him a year ago that he wasn't wanted in your life."

Marc put his head in his hands and nodded.

"Running on the same trail you guys use to meet, living in his old apartment. This is beyond pathetic." Britt shook her head. "It's not healthy. I didn't suggest this to you earlier because your life was shit. But now since you have sobered up a bit. I think you should give it a try. Come on, what's the worst that can happen? He rejects you. How can you be worse than you are now?"

Marc has never been the one to pursue after anything or anyone. Bettina first pursued him, so did Kay. However, now he is seriously considering Britt's suggestion. This is the only chance that he could see Kay again. Yes, Marc admits how pathetic he is becoming. There hadn't been a day that passed that he did not think about Kay.

-Have you thought about just ditching it all and go somewhere far away?-

Marc thought about that afternoon the most. A ray of sunset shone on his face that made Kay almost golden, smiling with such affection that Marc knew was only reserved for him. It seemed such a ridiculous suggestion at the time. But now, less than 18 months after, he would do anything to go somewhere, anywhere, just to be with Kay.

"What about Sebstian? I will miss him." Marc is still unsure.

"Marc, you see your son once every other week. And you know he is in good hands. "

That was a lame excuse, Marc knew. Sebstian just turned a year old, he does not need Marc as much as he needs his mom. Besides, the agreement Marc had with Bettina was one afternoon every 2 weeks. He can't see his son other time even if he wanted to.

"How would I be able to find him?" Now comes the real question.

"Hahaha, " Britt laughed and reached over to swat his head, "you have finally decided to man up. Don't worry, I have a friend in the informatics bureau. I will find Kay's whereabouts in no time."

Marc thanked her and closed his eyes. The mere possibly of seeing Kay again made his heart race like a rabbit. Does he still wear the same cocky smile, the same swagger in his walks? Does he still jog, still club? Most of all, does Kay still think of him? Or does he have someone else.


	2. Chapter 2

Breathe Evenly- Chapter 2

It turns out finding Kay was not as easy as Britt portrayed. After 3 weeks without any update, Marc starts to curse himself and Britt for getting his hopes up. On this day after work, he decided to wait for Britt at the female locker room door.

"So has your friend at the informatics bureau give you any updates?" Marc didn't want to appear too hopeful when Britt walks through the door, freshly showered.

"Getting desperate are we?" Britt playfully pushed at Marc's shoulder, but then turned serious. "It turns out your lover is more elusive than we thought. During the past year he has transferred 3 times, from Ludwigsburg to Stuttgart to Augsburg now to Munich, which he just arrived less than 2 weeks ago. I know what unit he is at now, but cannot tell you his address. His current address on file is still one at Stuttgart, obviously out of date."

Marc is puzzled. Why on earth would Kay transfer so many times? What is he running away from? With a pang of guilt, Marc realized how little he knew of Kay's, his family, or his life.

"What does that mean?"

"What that means. Is that if you want to find your lover and talk sense into him, you will have to transfer to his unit or at least in the same building his unit is at. " Britt continued. "Of course, you can creepily wait in front of the building hoping to catch him as he is coming and leaving from work. But stalking in front of police station cannot end up well."

Marc shook his head, " you want to get me fired?"

Britt shrugged her shoulders. "The other option is to wait for the address to be updated on the record. My friend said that could take up to 6 months. By then, Kay might have moved again already. "

Marc scratched his head. No, he did not want to wait for another 6 months risking Kay running away from him again. But transferring to another unit was not what he had in plan.

"Transferring to another unit and moving to Munich though? That's a big step. What about Sebastian?" Marc was not sure.

"Marc, Munich is two and half hours from here by train, even faster driving. You can make a trip once every 2 weeks."

What Britt said was true. Trips to Munich was definitely not taxing at all. However, for someone who resists change and adventure as much as he can, Marc was still reluctant to entertain that idea. " But transferring units cannot be that easy. " Nevertheless, the thought of never seeing Kay again is eating him slowly.

Britt winked at him, "you are in luck, mate. My friend said that particular riot control unit serves the most dangerous area of Munich. They have lost 6 people over the past 3 months due to various reasons. They are desperately in need of people. Transferring there would be a piece of cake."

Hearing about the danger of Kay's unit automatically arose the protectiveness in Marc. He became worried for Kay's safety. He knew Kay is a great police officer and will be able to look after himself. However, the need to be by Kay's side suddenly became insurmountable. To protect Kay, or just to hold his hand and face danger together.

Transferring was just as easy as Britt predicted. All paperwork had gone through within 2 weeks. Marc even received a pay raise as enticement to seal the deal.

Marc packed all his belongings, which consisted of merely 2 suitcases and 2 boxes into is Volkswagen Golf. Before hitting the road for Munich, he stopped by to see Bettina and his son Sebastian.

Sebastian is growing fast, now able to crawl everywhere and walk a few steps. To Marc, his gabbled "Papa" is the sweetest music to his ears.

While Sebastian is pre-occupied with the toy his father just brought him, Marc glanced over at Bettina.

"Bettina, I am moving to Munich." Marc said slowly.

Bettina stared at him, seemingly surprised.

"I will still come by every 2 weeks to see Bastian as we agreed upon. " Marc continued.

"Why?" Bettina interrupted him. "Why are you moving to Munich all the sudden Marc?"

Marc avoided Bettina's stare and focused his attention back to his son. "I want a new start."

"Don't bullshit me Marc. " Bettina walked closer to him. As if a sudden realization came upon her, she started nodding her head. "You are going after him, aren't you?!"

Marc looked down to the floor and remained silent.

"Are you Marc?!" Bettina raised her voice.

Marc sighed. He knew this was going to be difficult. He couldn't ask Bettina not to be angry with his decision. " Bettina, I know you would be angry. I am sorry I couldn't give you want you deserve. I can never ask you to forgive me, but I am very thankful that you allow me to see Bastian. I will be forever indebted to you. If you need anything in the future, just call or text. I will do my best."

"Hosenscheisser," Bettina muttered under her breathe. She stared at Marc long and hard for what seemed like hours. Marc shifted between his feet uncomfortably, debating to stay until he could say proper bye to Bettina or just kiss Sebastian and run away.

Finally, Bettina sighed. " Just as well. I am moving in with Thomas, just haven't gotten around to tell you."

This is Marc's turn to be startled. Looks like they both have news today. Marc knew Bettina had been dating Thomas for about 9 months. He had met Thomas during one of his visits to Sebastian. He seemed like a gentle man and great with Sebastian. Marc knew Bettina puts Sebastian as top priority and would not agree to move in with him if she didn't think Thomas would get along with her son. But the idea of his son living with a strange man still made him uncomfortable. Then again, he was on no grounds to dictate Bettina's life.

Marc swallowed all his thoughts and managed to smile weakly. "Congratulations Bettina. Thomas is a great guy. I sincerely hope you will be happy."

Bettina nodded. Her eyes became reddish and watery as if she suddenly became emotional. "He is. I am very lucky to have found him. Especially after what I went through with you." She smiled too, "Marc, I guess what has passed is past. I know you have been miserable over the past year. I still cannot fully forgive you now, but I probably will with time. " She looked over and caressed Sebastian's soft chubby cheeks. "After all, you are Bastian's father and I do need you to be well. So go to Munich and do what you have to do. But his time, please don't be such a coward about it."

As if a huge rock had dropped from his shoulders, Marc nodded and grinned. Even years after, he still did not quite understand how Bettina was able to come around what he had done to her. But he was always thankful to have this woman in his life.

Marc awkwardly extended a hand to Bettina. Bettina smiled and came close. She gave him a hug and squeezed his shoulders.

As Marc drove on the stretched highway heading toward Munich, he can't help to imagine maybe, just maybe, one day, he could bring Kay to meet Sebastian. Of course, Marc chuckled to himself, that is wishing for too much. Right now, the biggest hurdle is to convince Kay to come back to him.


End file.
